Soulful Saturday

Soulful Saturday – People Don’t Change!

Oprah-Winfrey-Quotes-1

The first time I heard Oprah say the above lines was during the Oprah Winfrey Show! It was a lesson she learnt from her mentor & friend Maya Angelou. The Lesson was “When people show you who they are, believe them”.

It took me a long time to learn this lesson, ( even when it came from Oprah! ) I have seen people in my life be self centered, self serving and yet I’d make excuses on their behalf, giving them chances after chances , till I finally came to the conclusion that things are not going to be changing anytime soon!

Hence for the ones like me who believe people change, well they don’t. People are who they are, and as Oprah says, Its we who need to protect ourselves, so we don’t end up emotionally empty after all the giving.

Regards,

Arpita.

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25 thoughts on “Soulful Saturday – People Don’t Change!”

  1. I am loved watching Oprah shows for lessons learned there and Maya Angelou was such a beautiful soul. I have read on if Maya Angelou’s books, I lost it through a fire and I can’t remember the title. I think it was the first book she wrote about her life and what she had gone through. It was inspiring.
    I believe people can improve but they will not really change unless they chose to, or there is an event in their life that made them change or they are inspired to change by something or someone but it is still up to them. We on the otherhand, had the choice to let them affect us or not. I see nothing wrong on praying and hoping that they will change for their own good, but if we expect them to change their behavior towards us and get upset when they don’t, then maybe we are the one who should change. Acceptance and tolerance for me is key, especially if we care for the other person. However, it is also important that we take care of ourselves. There will be people in our life that will show care and love for us but it may not be as much as we do for them, and yes, sometimes we may hope they do, but usually they won’t. It may be true also, the other way around – someone may care for us so much but we may take them for granted because we are hang up with someone else. It is important I think to self analyze and look things in different perspective. If a relationship makes your life miserable, then it maybe time to change your thinking, your situation or change relationship especially when it is about friendships. Still for me giving, especially give love is better than receiving them. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Maya Angelou was such an earth angel. I loved her take on life & love. I think unconditional love is great, but I personally prefer balance in my relationships. I guess it all depends on our life experience. I write this post keeping in mind mainly those in abusive relationships. I would like younger women & men to have a healthier sense of self & realize that they deserve a love that makes them feel good about themselves.
      I want to instill a sense of balance in young readers & not the all giving love that might make them resentful at a later stage.
      Acceptance & Toleration are needed for sure in every relationship, but from both ends 🙂
      You must be an amazing person, I really liked your comment 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, I believe too that balance is very important in any relationship for it to grow. I, myself can’t tolerate being in an abusive relationship as I have seen firsthand its effect with my mother. She has a really big heart, loves unconditionally, don’t expect anything in return, a martyr and I hate seing that she lets other abuse her. I on the otherhand loves her unconditionally because she deserves to be loved like that. It makes me happy if she is happy and sad when she is sad, hurt when she is hurt. I apply tough love if needed, it is hard to do but sometimes we have to for their own sake. I am blessed for having a wonderful husband so if a person is appreciative, we can’t help but love someone who loves us back. I think life is hard enough without us adding to make it harder for us. I hope those that are in an abusive relationship learns to let go, move on and love themselves so that they will find the love that they deserve. Thank you for writing something that may help them realize that. Maybe I will write something about it too. You inspired me 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It’s so unfortunate that the most loving & kind people have to face such unkind & harsh situations. I think the only unconditional love there can be , is between parents & children. Your mom is lucky to have you. Tough love does become a necessity sometimes. You are so blessed ( touch wood ), your husband seems like a really good man. You deserve the best. You should write about it! We should help spread awareness amongst young women & men about it in our own little ways! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I learned this very late in my life but its true we need to protect ourselves and the way we can do it is accept them as they are, we get in trouble when we keep expecting to change. Acceptance without expectations is the key 🙂
    And one doesn’t feel emotionally empty after the giving unless he/she too belong to the same self centered lot, isn’t it? Giving without expectations certainly fills you up with positive emotions, doesn’t take away anything.

    Liked by 1 person

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